


the one that got away

by Jade (simpsforthemenofthebau)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Clueless Spencer Reid, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Like 13 Years Type of Slow Burn, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Original Character-centric, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpsforthemenofthebau/pseuds/Jade
Summary: Dr. Laura Blunder, a reserved and bookish agent, has loved Dr.  Spencer Reid for as long as she can remember being on the team, yet time and time again she's been passed up by him. It's never intentional, and yet, it continues to happen. Will she continue to let life and happiness pass her by, or will she finally find the strength to admit her feelings?
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)





	the one that got away

The car was silent. Deathly silent. Laura figured now was as good a chance as any to make the move she had been longing to make. She let out a small cough to break the silence. It was her way of easing into what would probably be a very awkward conversation. Well, she _hoped_ it wouldn't be awkward, but given her nature, she knew it was a very likely scenario.

"Hm?" Spencer took his eyes off the road for a split second to look at her. "Did you say something, Rae?" He spoke quietly, a silent pain behind his eyes. Today, February 6th, conjured up nothing but bad memories for him. It was quite unfortunate, especially given that Laura's birthday was only a day later. Sure, the whole situation made for quite a good birthday present in 2007, but now, all it did was rehash painful memories.

"In fact, I did." She took a pause in an attempt to gather any ounce courage she could find within herself. "Spence... I have a confession."

Spencer's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "Can this wait, please?" He didn't even look at her as he spoke. Every confession he had heard resulted in someone he loved, no, someone he _needed_ leaving his life for good. He couldn't risk losing someone else. He couldn't survive it.

She turned in her seat to face him. "I know these past few months have been hell for you, but, Spence, this has waited long enough." She placed a hand on his forearm, warranting another quick glance. "If you could just hear me out for a few seconds."

He silently nodded.

"Do you remember my first day in the bureau?" She smiled as she said the words. "God, it was a disaster."

A giant smile began to form on his lips. "Of course. You, uh, got locked out of the- Ahem out of the-" He slowly stopped speaking, focusing his attention on something across the road. "I'm so sorry, but I think this is going to have to wait. Isn't that-?"

Any joy she felt in that moment completely dissipated. "Uh, yeah... I think it is..." Her voice trailed off as she realized that she had just missed what was probably one of her last chances to confess. "We should probably deal with that." She said it so quietly that she wasn't even sure that Spencer had even heard it.

***

_Our story starts in 02x09 - The Last Word. It's November 2006._

Today was the day. Dr. Laura Blunder had finally landed a spot in the BAU, a feat that she had been dreaming of since the day she finished her PhD. Of course the job was her main focus, but the opportunity to get closer to the one and only Dr. Spencer Reid was a giant bonus. She knew that it was normal to idolize someone like him, but she couldn't help but worry that her interest was "creepy." Even so, she couldn't help but find him interesting. Before her first year of graduate school, she had stumbled across his dissertations and found them absolutely captivating. She remembered sitting on her bed for hours, annotating and really making an attempt to understand his research. She was so excited for her time at the BAU that she could hardly sleep thinking about how she might introduce herself to the team.

_Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Blunder. Dr. Reid, I've read some of your published work and I must say, it is absolutely fascinating. If it's not too much, I'd love to talk about them with you over coffee. **No, too forward.**_

_It's a pleasure to meet all of you, I'm Dr. Laura Blunder. Dr. Reid, is it? I hope I'm not too forthcoming here, but I came across your work in grad school: absolutely inspiring. It's an absolute honor to work with you. T **hat might work. Maybe I should hold off on singling him out? It might just make things weird.**_

Before she knew it, her alarm was screaming for her to awaken. She took no time in leaving her bed, heading straight to the bathroom to begin her morning routine. Her mom was never really invested in her life, so she'd never learned much about skincare or makeup. Her morning ritual was pretty straightforward: brush her teeth; get in, get out. While she brushed her teeth, she stared at herself in the mirror, wondering what the team would think of her. She wondered if they would notice that she knew more about Dr. Reid than she was letting on, or if they might pick up on the things that she so desperately tried to hide from the world. She quickly tried to push the thought from her mind as she pulled a strand of hair out of her face. She spit out her mouthwash, leaving the bathroom, but not before taking one last glance in the mirror to ensure that she had not ruined her appearance.

She waltzed into the kitchen, silently humming to herself. It was in times like these that she wished that she had a roommate or a least a pet. _Correction_ : she _did_ have a roommate, or at least she was supposed to. Sure, she was introverted, but waking up alone felt so foreign, and the house was always so quiet. That's when she decided to put out an ad. Luckily enough, she found this woman who was moving to Quantico from St. Louis, but even though she was supposed to arrive today, Laura had seen absolutely no sign of her. "Where are you, Emily Prentiss?" She whispered to herself.

She turned on the stereo as she began to prepare her breakfast. She settled on making something light, an omelet. She gathered the ingredients out of the fridge as well as her pitcher of cold brew. God only knew how much she would need it after sleeping for barely an hour. She quickly prepared her food, adding spinach, ham, and cheese as her toppings. She poured herself some coffee into a neutral tumbler: one that wouldn't give much insight to her personality if the team decided to profile her. She added some almond milk, and about two spoonfuls of monk fruit sweetener and began drinking her first coffee of the day.

She quickly ate breakfast and headed back into her bedroom to get dressed. After careful consideration of her closet, she settled on a purple blouse, dress pants, and boots. She examined herself in the full-length mirror. "I'm definitely missing something..." She whispered to herself. She stood, continuing to stare at herself in an attempt to identify the missing component. She had her badge, her credentials, her phone, and her car keys. What else could she possibly need? She stood silently for a few seconds until it hit her: she needed her gun. Laura was not at all used to carrying a firearm. She was more of the academic type, preferring the office to the field. She did graduate from school almost two years early after all. She attached her holster to her pants precariously, almost scared to touch it out of fear that the gun would fire. Luckily, it didn't. She breathed a sigh of relief, grabbing her go-bag and her coat and heading out the door.

For such a scholarly woman, Laura surprisingly hated driving. Sure, a long drive was nice every now and again to clear her mind, but she could never quite shake the fear that she would crash. She was thankful that she decided to live in Quantico instead of D.C. unlike most other members of the team. Quantico was small and peaceful with little to no driving hazards. Laura took a deep breath and started the ignition. She debated on whether or not she should turn on the radio. On one hand, the silence would force her to sit alone with her thoughts which she never enjoyed, but on the other hand, she got way too into singing along which only fed into her fear that she would crash. She continued to ponder the dilemma as she put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway. Her neighborhood was the epitome of suburbia. She could never quite tell if she found that comforting or not. As she exited the cul-de-sac, she finally decided that she would leave the radio off. _It would be pretty stupid to die on your first day of work, and especially stupid to die before meeting Dr. Spencer Reid._

The drive to work was uneventful, but Laura didn't care. She got out of her car, taking a deep breath of fresh air before closing the door. Trying her best to contain her excitement, she approached the front door of the building and attempted to swipe her ID; however, it didn't take. "Come on, now." She said under her breath, trying again but each time she was given an error message. She started to pull out her phone to call her new boss, Aaron Hotchner, when a brown-haired stranger approached her.

"Hey... um, do you maybe need some help? You look a little flustered." The stranger was quite attractive, maybe not conventionally, but to Laura he was perfect. He couldn't have been much younger than her. He was clearly socially awkward just like her as he avoided sustained eye contact and fiddled with his hands while he talked. He had deep brown eyes and carried a brown leather satchel.

Laura cleared her throat. "Yeah. I'm not sure what's going on, but the machine doesn't recognize my ID. It's my first day, and I would hate to be late."

He looked quite intrigued by her words. "Oh really? Um, congratulations. What, um, unit are you working in?" He waited patiently for her response.

"Oh, um, thanks. I'm, uh, going to be working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit." She gave him a slight smile. His eyes widened when she mentioned the BAU.

"Really? That's the unit I work in." He smiled. From the looks of it, it seemed like this might have been a rare occurrence for him.

"Oh my god, what a coincidence! It's really nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Laura Blunder." She went to reach out her hand for a handshake, but she watched her coworker recoil at her slight movement and quickly returned her hand to her pocket. He must be a germaphobe. She thought to herself.

"I've heard great things. I'm, uh, Dr. Spencer Reid." Her heart dropped to the floor. _Oh god, oh god, oh god. It's him. I-I-I didn't even get a chance to plan out what I was going to say. What if he hates me? Or worse, what if he thinks I'm stupid?_ She was so caught up in her worry that she hadn't even realized that he knew who she was. He had heard about her. Spencer noticed the panic behind her eyes. "You weren't, uh, expecting me to act like this, were you?"

_Oh god what am I supposed to say?_ "NO, oh my god, no, it's not that. It's just I've read your dissertations. I hope this doesn't come off as creepy, but I've kind of always wanted to meet you. I didn't expect it to be so _accidental_ , y'know?"

His face lit up. "You've read my research? No one's ever taken in interest in my work..."

"Are you kidding me? How could they not? I-I-I mean, your dissertation _Identifying non-obvious relationship factors using cluster weighted modeling and geographic regression_ , absolutely revolutionary."

He continued to smile. "Thank you. It really means a lot." He paused for a second, remembering why they had started talking in the first place. "Um, since your card isn't working, I'll, uh, swipe mine and you can go in behind me."

"Alright." He began to walk toward the door, but she grabbed him by the shoulder before he could swipe his ID. "Thank you. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't come along." She once again flashed him a small smile.

He smiled back. "It's really nothing." The door clicked open, and the pair entered the building. _God, I could get used to this._

***

The elevator ride up to the bullpen was less than magical compared to the interaction outside the building, but it was nothing that Laura didn't expect. No matter how much the two of them had in common, they were still two socially awkward people in an elevator. Soon the elevator doors opened, revealing her new workplace, her _new beginning_. As she exited, she was greeted by Aaron Hotchner, or Hotch as she learned that he was often called.

"Agent Blunder. I see that you've already met Dr. Reid. Welcome to the team." He reached out his hand for a handshake.

She debated on whether or not to correct his mistake. "Yes," she chuckled, "I have. It's a pleasure to work with you." She decided it wasn't worth it as she shook his hand.

Spencer cleared his throat. "Dr. Blunder" He mumbled under his breath.

She quickly side-eyed him, as if they somehow had friend telepathy after only knowing each other for a grand total of 10 minutes. _Please, don't say anything. Please._

Hotch took notice of the look that she had given him. "Reid, is there a problem?"

She gave him one more glance in a desperate attempt to get him to drop it.

"She has a doctorate." He twiddled his fingers nonchalantly, but you could tell by the look on his face that he was annoyed by the mistake. It was a mistake that he had probably had to put up with frequently, given his age. Hell, _most people_ with doctorates had to deal with it. People don't tend to respect what they feel are "fake" doctors. Even so, Laura was mortified. Intrinsically, she knew that this wasn't a big issue; it was a simple slip of the tongue, but she was still somehow worried that she had caused a rift. But at the same time, it felt nice to know that there was someone out there who was willing to stand up for her when she didn't have the courage to.

She placed a gentle hand on Reid's forearm. "Spencer, it's alright." She said in an almost whisper. He shook his head silently in response.

"Excuse me, _Dr. Blunder._ I'd like you to meet the rest of the team." Hotch brushed off the issue like it was nothing. He didn't even flinch. Laura was envious of that. She had always been one to overthink. If it had been her mistake, she would've revisited it for hours, agonizing over her disrespect.

Hotch pushed open the glass doors, signaling to an older man. But before he could speak, a blonde woman peeked around the corner. "Hotch, there's someone waiting for you in your office."

He sighed. "I'm not expecting anyone. Can they reschedule?"

The woman shook her head. "She says she's here to finalize her transfer. Has her paperwork and everything."

Hotch gave her a puzzled look, furrowing his brow. "But Dr. Blunder is the new transfer."

The woman shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you."

He sighed once again. "I'll handle it." The woman turned to walk away, but he quickly stopped her. "JJ, before you go, this is Dr. Laura Blunder. Doctor, this is Jennifer Jareau, our communications liaison." He said, gesturing between the two women.

JJ reached out her hand for a handshake. "It's lovely to meet you. You'll probably be talking to me a lot. My door's always open," she took a brief pause, "mostly because I'm never _in_ my office, just call."

"Noted." Laura smiled, reciprocating the handshake.

"Your desk is over there in the corner if you want to set up shop. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to deal with this." Hotch turned to walk away, but after suddenly remembering his abandoned tour, he whipped back around. "Reid, show her around." He said, quickly walking to his office.

A small smile began to form on Laura's lips. "Looks like you're stuck with me." She debated on playfully punching his arm. _No, too much, too soon._

"I guess so." He said, a strong smile plastering his face. He shook his head quickly as if to snap himself out of a trance. "So... um... who do you want to meet first?" He awkwardly twiddled with his thumbs while he waited for her response.

"Well..." She took a long pause, surveying the bullpen. There was an older man in the corner of the room, furiously scribbling and going through case files. He was so concentrated and tense that it seemed like if you were to touch him, he would shatter. . _No way in hell am I talking to him first._ Then, there was a younger man who seemed more interested in the ladies of the office than his work, flirtatiously biting the edge of his pen. _Not sure that I want to meet him either._ Laura cleared her throat. "is it awful if I say no one?"

"Potentially..." he slightly chuckled, earning another small smile from Laura. "How about we go talk to Gideon first? 'Rip off the Band-Aid' so to speak?"

Spencer began to walk ahead, but Laura stood in place. "Wait? Gideon? As in Jason Gideon? As in the agent from The Boston Shrapnel Bomber case?" She remembered reading about it in the newspaper. Everyone had ranted and raved about Gideon's incompetence, but she just felt sorry for him. How could he have known that things would go awry?

He also stopped, turning around and grabbing her wrist gently. "Yes," he said in a whisper, "but don't mention it to him. As you can probably assume, it's quite a sore subject."

"Oh... right. I should've known that it would be." Her face dropped. _I should've known. I should've known. I should've known._ She felt a tightness growing in her chest. _Breathe, Laura, breathe. It was a simple mistake. A simple mistake._ Her words did nothing to calm the growing panic.

Just as he had done outside the building, Spencer picked up on her anxiety. "Hey, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Approximately 88.47% percent of new recruits bring it up. It's human nature to be curious." And for once in her life, Laura was able to let it go. She felt at ease with him, something that no one else was ever able to accomplish, and it was his _first day_ of knowing her.

When they finally made their way over to Gideon's desk, he looked up from his paperwork, massaging his temple. "What is it, Reid?"

He smiled like a kid showing off a toy at show and tell. "I wanted to introduce you to our new agent, Dr. Laura Blunder."

"Ta da..." She said weakly while doing jazz hands. _Why did I do that? He's not going to respect you if you act like a child._ But then she looked at Spencer who was sporting a dorky smile, and once again, it all melted away.

Gideon flashed a very small smile, clearly not wanting to break his stern look. "Jason Gideon, pleasure to meet you." Just like almost everyone else that day, he reached out his hand for a handshake.

And just as she had for everyone else, she reciprocated. "Nice to meet you too, Jason."

"Please, call me Gideon." He said, gesturing with his hands.

Laura looked back at Spencer, a look of confusion splayed across her face. It took a minute for him to acknowledge it. When he finally noticed, he mouthed "Oh!" and launched into an explanation. "It's customary for us to refer to each other by our last names since we often use professional identifiers to introduce ourselves such as agent, SSA, doctor, etc., etc."

"I suppose that makes sense. Well, it was nice to meet you, _Gideon_ ," she made sure to emphasize it in some attempt to rectify her "mistake," "I look forward to working with you." She said, waving at him as she walked away.

Finally, they made their way over to the desk of the flirt. The girls had since left, and he was leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up on the desk. When Laura arrived at the edge of his desk, he swung his feet back down to the ground and leaned forward. "Well, hello there..." he said, looking her up and down. "I'm Derek Morgan, and you are?"

She cleared her throat, unable to tell if he was joking or not. "Dr. Laura Blunder." She said quickly. There was a very long, lingering silence afterward as Derek examined the pair.

"Wait a minute... I see what's going on here." Derek said, his eyes darting between the two doctors.

"What do you mean?" Laura said worriedly. _He knows I like Reid, and it's literally been one day. Oh my god, he thinks I'm crazy, doesn't he? I swear I'm not crazy. Please don't think I'm crazy._

"Well I'll be damned, pretty boy." He stood up from his desk, tussling Reid's hair. "It's only her first day, and you've already gotten yourself a girlfriend." He gave a wide grin as Laura turned bright red. _No no no no no NO NO NO._

Reid looked at Morgan, a puzzled look on his face while Laura continually looked at him awkwardly pointing at him and then at herself and occasionally muttering "What? Us? Together? Noooo. Psh that's insane. Th-that's crazy. Nope. "

Morgan raised an eyebrow at her reaction, and she came to a sudden realization that she had just made everything ten times worse. Reid finally spoke. "How do you figure?" He tilted his head in confusion. "She-she-she got locked out of the building, and I let her in. That hardly constitutes romance, am I right, Laura?" He looked at her, fully expecting her to back up his assertion.

_Okay, ouch. Thank you for that Dr. Reid._ "Yeah, psht, just friendly things," she awkwardly attempted to deliver a playful punch to his arm, "just buddies being buddies. Because we just met, and it would be weird if it were anything more." She did finger guns. _Would they find it suspicious if I asked where the nearest bridge is? Y'know what? No, it's fine. We're fine. He just doesn't pick up on social cues. It also doesn't help that we LITERALLY met not even a half hour ago. Give it time, Laura. Give it time._

Morgan made a face at her awkward antics, opting instead to respond to what Spencer had said. "Mkay, I see you pretty boy, a gentleman and a scholar. It may be nothing now, but trust me, sooner or later, you'll be married with a white picket fence and three kids." He said with a giant smirk on his face. "Aaah, I'm just picking at ya. In all seriousness, welcome to the team, Dr. Blunder."

"Thank you." She did her best to push her embarrassment to the back of her mind. Luckily for her, Spencer was completely oblivious to her whole disaster. But unfortunately for her, Spencer _was completely oblivious to her whole disaster._

_Give it time, Laura._ She reminded herself. _Give it time._

As they were about to make the trip to meet the technical analyst, Penelope Garcia, JJ popped her head into Hotch's office. Spencer took note of the action, looking over at Laura in response. "It's probably best if we stay here. It seems like we're about to be called in."

She silently nodded, tuning into the conversation happening at Hotch's door. "I didn't approve this transfer. I'm very sorry for the confusion, but you've been misinformed. The spot that these forms say you are supposed to fill has already been filled. Now, if you'll please excuse me." He began to walk out of the door, before turning and saying, "it's very good to see you again."

A raven-haired woman stepped out of his office with her face frozen in shock, holding a banker's box with all of her belongings.

"Wait a minute, Emily?" Laura said, not realizing that she had been speaking.

Emily's gaze turned towards her. "Laura?"

Laura realized her "thought" had been acknowledged and absentmindedly left Reid standing in the middle of the bullpen as she went to speak with her estranged roommate. "Where were you last night? I-I-I don't mean to pry, but I was a bit worried that something happened to you."

She sighed, sitting her banker's box next to her on the ground. "Well, you said that you were going to start work at 8, and I knew that I had planned to come into the office around 6. I didn't want to disturb you before your big day, so I figured, 'hey, what's one night in a hotel?'"

Laura gave her a small smile. "You didn't have to do that for me. I would've dealt with it. I-" She took a quick pause, suddenly realizing the implication of what Emily had said. "Wait a minute, why were you coming into the office at 6 in the first place? Did it say that somewhere in the welcome packet? Am-am I gonna get a demerit on my first day?" She hurriedly turned to go check the paperwork in her desk, but Emily grabbed her arm before she could make it too far.

"Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. You're perfectly fine." Emily waited for her to turn around. "In all honesty, I don't know why I did it. I guess I thought it would make a good impression?" She looked at her box of belongings on the floor, giving it a light kick. "Unfortunately, I wasn't too lucky on that front. According to Agent Hotchner, I didn't have a job to transfer to in the first place."

Laura furrowed her brows. "Wait, are you sure he said that?"

Emily nodded her head seemingly unsure of where Laura's train of thought was heading. "Yeah, he made it very clear that it must have been a mistake. Said that they already had a transfer which I'm assuming is you... Why do you ask?"

This time Laura actually made it back to her desk. She began rummaging through her welcome packet and other miscellaneous pieces of paperwork. "Because I distinctly remember..." she said, taking a pause to flip over another piece of paper. "Aha!" She walked back over to Emily. "Look. You're not crazy."

The paper read:

_Looking for two agents to join the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Although the team is traditionally made up of five members, in light of recent events, we require an additional member to ensure the integrity of the team._

"Well, what am I gonna do about it?" Emily looked defeated as she continued to read and reread the paper that Laura had presented to her.

"What you're gonna do is let me talk to Hotch about it! I'm already on the team, and I'm sure he'll listen to reason." She slapped the paper with the back of her hand excitedly. "I mean, this... This right here is proof that you're supposed to be here."

"Laura!" She quickly snapped her head toward the source of the sound. Spencer was calling to her from the middle of the bullpen. "We have a case!"

" _Shit, I'm already on the team._ " She hung her head, whispering to herself. She quickly shot her head back up to address her. "I have to go deal with this, but I promise you, you will be a member of this team by the end of the week." Laura gave a quick thumbs up as she made her way back over to Spencer. She turned around quickly to add, "oh yeah, and I'll see you at home later!"

"See you at home..." Emily said, practically speaking to herself.

***

The case presentation had went... decently. Laura hadn't contributed as much as she had wanted, but they couldn't honestly expect the new hire to have _that_ many insights on her _first_ case. As the team made their way out to the jet, she couldn't help but be taken aback. "We really get to ride a private jet??"

Spencer smiled at her. "Yep. It's pretty 'cool' I guess you would say. That is of course after you get over the fear of flying."

"Nah, screw that! I can't believe my first plane ride is going to be on a private jet. How luxurious! My days of complaining about taxes are so over." Her remarks warranted a small chuckle from the team. Maybe this isn't going to be so bad after all.

When they finally entered the jet, everyone took their seats as JJ started handing out case files. Gideon sat alone next to a nightstand of some sort, reading his newspaper. Morgan was in the back, fixing himself a drink, and Hotch sat across from Reid.

Laura had no clue where she should sit. She was going to sit next to Reid, but JJ sat on the arm of the chair before she even had a chance to think about sitting down. The two began talking about something that Laura couldn't quite hear from her position on the jet. _They aren't a couple, are they? No no no, someone like JJ definitely has a husband or at least a boyfriend outside of work. She has to._ Their conversation wrapped up as Laura came closer.

"Why don't you sit next to Hotch?" Reid motioned to the empty seat next to their boss.

"Are you sure that's alright?" She said, trying to get Hotch to look at her, but he didn't budge.

"It's fine. Now, please sit down. We have a case to solve." He said, his eyes barely moving away from his case files.

She mouthed "Yeah, sorry" and quickly took her seat.

Thus began another round of case talk. "Serial shooters are typically loners. This guy likes to kill at night. His victims are prostitutes, so he may lack confidence with women or have poor social skills." Hotch started, alternating looks between different members of the team and his case file. Everyone had brushed it off, but Laura had noticed that Hotch had glanced at Reid when he mentioned the unsub's potential lack of social skills. She wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. She glanced at Reid to gauge his feelings on the situation. His eyes said nothing but "I'm used to it. Just leave it alone." She knew the feeling, and she so desperately wanted to reach out her hand and comfort him, but she didn't dare.

She was so wrapped up in her concern for Reid that she had missed the rest of the presentation. When she finally landed back in reality, Morgan was waving his hand in front of her face. "Laura, Hotch asked if you had anything to add?"

She shook her head to try and quicken her descent back into reality. "What? Sorry, yeah." She looked to Reid for support, and he gave her a tiny thumbs up, and suddenly, she knew exactly what to do. "Our two unsubs are polar opposites just like their victims."

"Precisely." Hotch agreed. Laura could hardly listen to the rest of the conversation; she was too distracted by the adrenaline rush. She tuned back in, however, when she heard her field mentioned. "Reid, can you take a look at the letter for handwriting analysis and psycholinguistics?"

"Of course," He said, taking a sip from his mug, "but Dr. Blunder is coming with me, right? I mean, she has a doctorate in psycholinguistics after all."

Laura's head shot up from her case file. "How did you know that?"

He gave her the best smirk he could muster (which was not much of a smirk at all). "You're not the only one who reads dissertations for fun."

Laura shot her case file up to her face to mask the growing redness in her cheeks. _Maybe he's better at picking up on social cues than I thought._

***

As they approached the victim's apartment, Laura couldn't help but call out the contradiction in Hotch's instructions. "I thought we were supposed to be analyzing the letter, not paying Marci Mitchell's family a visit."

Spencer shot her a quick look. "You'll soon find out that people don't always say what they mean."

She smiled, beginning to laugh. "Okay, I may be a little naïve, but I'm not _that_ naïve. I'm just saying, I'm better with a pen than I am with my voice."

"Well, that's going to have to change in about t-minus thirty seconds." Hotch chimed in.

"Didn't have to ruin the mood..." Laura whispered to herself.

"What was that Doctor?"

"Nothing, sir. I am ready for this interview." She said, shooting straight up almost saluting him.

Reid stifled a laugh, as Hotch finished off the conversation. "That's what I thought." He knocked on the door, prompting an old woman to crack it open. "Agents Hotchner, Reid, and Blunder, FBI."

The old woman responded to Hotch, practically rolling her eyes. "What do you want?"

"We'd like to talk to you."

She looked at him skeptically. "Hold that badge up again."

He begrudgingly obliged, causing the woman to finally unlock the door and let them in.

The apartment was quite small, almost hotel-like. It was only one or two rooms with baby toys and other various supplies scattered around. There were two chairs, one of them with a toddler with his gaze fixed on the unwelcomed guests and the other being occupied by only a blue felt blanket.

Hotch looked back at the woman as he entered the room. "We're here to talk to you about Marci Mitchell."

"Well, I'm her mother." She crossed her arms. _She seems defensive._ Laura and Reid exchanged quick glances before training their eyes on her.

"I'm sorry for your loss ma'am." Hotch gave about as much comfort as man as serious as he was could give. Laura and Reid said quiet condolences when another child, a young boy, ran into the room.

"What's this?" The boy questioned. Laura was about to lean down to level with him when the old woman spoke.

"They're for me. Take your brother inside." She said lowly, gesturing towards the other room.

"Is this about Mom?" He was clearly worried, but the old woman dismissed him.

"I said inside." Laura desperately wanted to speak up. Tell her off. She knew it was unprofessional and most definitely not worth it, but _God, would it have been satisfying._

The boy obeyed his grandmother, picking up his screaming brother and carrying him to the other room. Laura wanted nothing more than to hug him. Tell him that it would get better. Tell him that the world wasn't caving in. Instead she turned to Reid. "This isn't the first time he's done this. He's definitely been home alone with this baby before."

He silently nodded. They both then took notice of the half-empty whiskey bottle on the table. Right next to it was one of the baby's pacifiers. Laura's blood began to boil, but she did her best to conceal it.

"Are you gonna judge me or ask questions?" The lady quipped. Laura shook her head, using every ounce of strength she had to not tell her off.

Reid took matters into his own hands. He looked into the nursery, then back at the woman. "Is there anyone who can help you with the kids?"

"Is that what you came here for?" He wasn't expecting a response like that. He awkwardly shifted around, unsure of how he should answer.

"Ma'am, we've just been assigned to your daughter's case. We're in the process of gathering information, but so far no witnesses have come forward. What we're not here to do is press charges of any sort" Hotch shot a stern look at the two doctors as he said the words.

"Thank you." The woman was suddenly at ease. _It's just one punch. That's all it takes. What am I talking about? I've never thrown a punch in my life. Doesn't make this woman any less of a bitch though._ "Well, around here guns go off like those damn car alarms-- every fifteen minutes. Nobody's stupid enough to talk, nobody cares."

"We do." Laura and Spencer said in almost perfect unison.

She scoffed. "You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for them." She glanced at the children in the nursery. She picked up the newspaper, reading from the front page story. "'Heinous crimes against upstanding members of the community,' Nobody writes about prostitutes being shot because they won't admit they think they're cleaning up the place."

Hotch nodded. "You're right. Cases like your daughter's usually go unsolved. The problem is people aren't looking for them because they don't know that they're missing. Part of her job was to stay below the radar." The woman began to tear up. _Not many people sympathized with her daughter's situation. I guess I can understand that._ "Doesn't mean that she was any less important."

"She made bad choices, but she was a good person." She said, sniffling. Laura almost forgot about the way that she had treated the children. Keyword: _almost_. "She loved those boys."

The words triggered a memory from her childhood. One she had tried so desperately to forget. Her running around the house, trying to make sure her brother was taken care of, trying to make dinner, trying to finish her homework, trying to make sure everything was perfect. Only for her mom to come home and focus on all the things she _hadn't_ done. The same woman that had been out all day drinking came home to judge her teenager for not getting around to cleaning the kitchen counter. Her father would would always tell her that her mother loved her, but she was just going through a rough patch. Laura scoffed. "I've heard that one before." The words came out quickly, almost like a reflex.

The woman's tears dried up quickly as she filled with rage. "What the hell did you say?"

Reid tried to get Laura to look at him to no avail. For once in her life, she wasn't going to back down. This is what she had been waiting for. A chance to stick it to her mother. "I said, I've heard that one before."

"Blunder, stand down." Hotch shot her a stern look.

The woman held out her hand. "No, no, no, please continue. Tell me what the hell that's supposed to mean." She crossed her arms waiting for a response.

She began to open her mouth to continue when she felt a squeeze on her hand. She looked down to see Reid's fingers intertwined with hers, and she nearly passed out. She looked up at him and there it was, his dorky little smile.

The woman cleared her throat. "Well?"

Laura shook her head quickly, snapping out of her trance. "All-all I mean is that we've heard that in previous cases. People are quick to dehumanize prostitutes, but they're really the same as we are; they're just a bit down on their luck. Whoever shot her should pay for what they did."

"Finally. Something we agree on."

Hotch stepped between the two women. "Thank you for your time, ma'am. If you think of anything else, don't hesitate to call me." He handed her his business card and gestured to the door. "Doctors..."

Laura felt pretty good, still riding the high of holding hands with Spencer. That was until Hotch closed the door to the apartment and his whole demeanor changed. "I'm going to let you off with a warning, but if you _ever_ do that again, and I mean ever, your spot will go to Agent Prentiss so fast you won't even know what hit you." He pointed his finger in her face. "Are we clear?"

Her throat immediately began to dry up, and her heart started racing. "Clear as day, sir." She could barely choke out the words as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Good." He swiftly made his way down the hallway, completely ignoring the mess that he had left behind.

She slid down the wall, holding her head in her hands. Before she knew it, Spencer appeared in front of her. "Dr. Reid!" She sniffled, quickly wiping away her tears. "So about what happened in there, how did you know that that would calm me down?" She was fully prepared to confess her feelings. It didn't feel like it had only been a day. It felt like she had known him a lifetime.

He gave her a giant smile. "Acupressure."

"Oh," she chuckled, "should've thought of that." She felt more tears forming, but she willed them not to seep out. _Of course. Why did I think he liked me? Why would he?_

"Hey, do you want to talk about what you said in there?" He said, sliding down the wall to level with her.

She sniffled, avoiding eye contact. "I don't want to burden you with all my childhood trauma bullshit."

He gently pulled her chin towards him, forcing her to look at him and causing her heart to skip a beat. "Hey, don't you ever say you're a burden, okay? I will gladly sit here and listen to anything you want to tell me."

"Really?"

"Really." He squeezed her hand once again, and she slowly began to calm down.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and began to recount her tale of woe. How her brother latched onto her as a maternal figure because her mom was gone so often and how her mom resented her for it. How she would work her ass off everyday to keep the family from falling apart with little to no appreciation. How she was treated like a living trophy.

"Wow, Laura. I'm so sorry." He said, tightening his grip on her hand. "If it's any consolation, I know what it's like. My, uh, my dad left after my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He, uh, couldn't even say goodbye to me to my face; he left me a letter."

She looked up at him, not knowing how to comfort him in words. "Would it be alright if I hugged you?"

He silently nodded. They sat in the hallway wrapped in a warm embrace. "Please know that I won't ever leave you, Spence."

"Neither will I, Rae. Neither will I."

***

Reid and Laura arrived on the latest crime scene with Hotch having arrived just moments before them. Two prostitutes had been shot, their bodies left lying on the trash bags surrounding a dumpster. The day's newspaper was strategically placed between them.

"Two victims at once. That's a first for him." Laura stated, circling around to stand next to Hotch.

Reid looked over at her, continuing her train of thought. "You think he went out looking to kill more than one woman, or is it just happenstance?"

She smiled at his word choice. _Happenstance: a late 19th century blend of happen and circumstance, meaning coincidence._

"He chose a different hunting ground. Yes, we're in an alley... But Blunder, what do you think?" Hotch questioned. She didn't quite blame him for his lack of faith in her abilities. She hadn't done much of anything all day.

But now was her chance to shine. Laura finished his thought. "But we're behind an expensive hotel in a nice neighborhood. You get a different class of prostitute, ones that don't walk the street alone." She took a pause. "He was looking for a challenge. Question is, what gave him the confidence to stray out of his comfort zone?"

A member of the CSI walked up to the scene, carefully picking up the newspaper. Hotch made sure to get his attention. "Make sure to run that for prints."

Reid didn't skip a beat, continuing to add onto the analysis of the scene. "He displayed the newspaper between them. He took the time when he could've just tossed it aside."

Laura absentmindedly worked off of his statement. "Well, it's deliberate. He wants us to know he's angry."

He quipped back. "Angry enough to change his M.O."

"Speaking of which," Hotch began to dial a number on his phone, "I think it's high time you two analyze that letter."

***

Finally, the moment that Laura had been waiting for. She sat with Reid, reading the letter over and over again, analyzing the syntactical patterns of their unsub. JJ came sweeping into the room, fresh out of a conversation with the journalist. "Too bad we couldn't trace any prints from the newspaper. What have you got?" She turned away from the evidence board, facing the two doctors.

"Well, he only sent this to an individual, which shows he's not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses." Laura said, skimming over the notes she had made.

Reid chimed in. While they both had knowledge in psycholinguistics, he knew significantly more about graphology. "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants. The shooter maintains vertical, narrow-lettered writing, both signs of repression. And the pressure, if you look closely, is excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact." Laura didn't realize it at the time, but she was staring at him. She found graphology so interesting, but she could never seem to memorize all of it's intricacies. Well, that coupled with the fact that Reid was pretty easy on the eyes.

"You got all that from his handwriting?" Ah, sweet JJ. Laura didn't expect her to know anything about it. Graphology is quite the niche sub-science, but she found her naivete endearing. At least she was actually interested in it, and not using this as an opportunity to make fun.

"Graphology is actually an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior." Laura chimed in from the corner of the room.

JJ, now sitting on the table, continued. "Well, my handwriting's always different."

Laura opened her mouth to speak, but she figured she would let Spencer finish it out. He was obviously quite invested in the subject, and she wanted to give him room to info-dump. He looked to her for approval to continue. "Spence, you don't need to ask permission. Go right ahead." She said, smiling up at him.

He returned the smile, finishing out her explanation. "That's because it symbolizes your emotions at that given time, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you're feeling while you're speaking."

"Huh, interesting. If that's the case, then I'm surprised this guy writes in cursive. His message is so clear. I would've thought he'd print everything." JJ stated, twirling a strand of her hair as she spoke.

"Actually, his connected writing shows that he deals with problems in a practical and direct manner." He said, gesturing with his hands.

"Like shooting someone." Laura chimed back in.

Reid smiled over at her. "Like shooting someone."

Now, it was Laura's turn. "The Hollow Man uses simple statements, all first person. For example: 'I won't be ignored.' He's obviously tired of feeling this way. It's quite possible he has a job in solitude or one that he feels strips him of his identity." She explained, pointing at sections of the letter that proved her point.

JJ chimed in before she continued. "Guys, I think we have enough to deliver the profile. I'll get Hotch."

***

After the profile, Laura was speaking one-on-one with a local police officer, clarifying certain points that he misunderstood when Hotch suddenly approached her.

"Dr. Blunder, may I speak with you for a moment?" He asked, patiently waiting behind her.

"If you'll please excuse me," she gave a fake smile to the police officer, turning around and fixing her gaze on her boss. "Yes?" She hid it pretty well in that moment, but she was terrified of getting reprimanded again.

"While I'm glad you and Dr. Reid have hit it off, it is essential that you become acquainted with the rest of the team." Surprisingly, he wasn't angry, just concerned.

_Why does he care who I get along with?_ "Noted. Thank you." She turned on her heel, preparing to walk away when he grabbed her arm.

"Blunder, I mean now." His voice raised in frustration. "Gideon and Morgan are heading out soon. Why don't you go with them? It could be beneficial." His expression softened. He was taking care not to upset her after the earlier incident. _Wow. He actually noticed._

"All due respect sir-"

"Laura, that's an order. You're going in the field with them whether you like it or not." The volume of his voice had garnered the attention of almost everyone in the station, the focus pointed on the two of them like a laser beam.

It all made Laura uncomfortable, sending blood rushing to her cheeks. "Roger that." She said meekly, practically sprinting to the room where the two men were conversing.

She stood in the corner of the room, going unnoticed. Gideon and Morgan were still working on some parts of the geographic profile. Morgan was standing, gesturing at the maps that they had set up over the past few days, and Gideon stayed sitting, observing and adding commentary as he saw fit. The two weren't nearly as inclusive as Hotch, rarely, if ever, stopping to ask if she had any insight. She floated around them like a ghost, silently observing. She definitely wasn't living up to what Hotch had wanted her to be doing, but she didn't care. The more social interaction she could avoid the better. Before she knew it, they were sweeping out the door, heading to a potential dumpsite. She hurriedly grabbed her coat, knowing that if she were even a second late that they wouldn't noticed her absence just as they hadn't noticed her presence.

Unfortunately for Laura, she didn't stay undetected for long. Morgan noticed her as he sat in the driver's seat of the car. "Hey, Blunder! Coming with us?"

She nodded. "Yeah, boss's orders." She awkwardly shuffled into the backseat of the car.

"Cool, cool." Derek looked in the rearview mirror, meeting her eyes. "So how's the first day so far?"

She quietly cleared her throat. "Good, I suppose. Spence seems really nice." She smiled at the nickname that she had so quickly penned for him earlier.

He sucked through his teeth. "Eee, Spence? I'm afraid you've got a bit of competition with that nickname." He lowered his sunglasses onto his face, putting the car into reverse.

"Ehm, what do you mean by that exactly?" She said, shifting in her seat. Maybe it was stupid, but she thought it had been special, and to find out that maybe it hadn't been was soul-crushing.

"You see, about a year before you got here, Reid had the hots for JJ. Boy, he was like a cat in heat." He chuckled. "All this talk about 'she's the only one who calls me Spence' and blah blah. Gideon even gave them tickets to the Redskins game, remember?"

Gideon broke his typical stern expression with a quick smile. "Like it was yesterday."

She cleared her throat again. "So what? Are they like dating or something now?" The words had come out a little more aggressively than she had hoped. She knew something had happened between them, but she had hoped it was nothing big. She didn't stand a chance next to JJ. In her eyes, she was painfully average, and JJ was like the model you'd see on the front of a magazine.

"Woah, woah, woah. Someone sounds jealous." Morgan smirked into the mirror.

"Answer the question." She replied coldly.

He threw his hands up as well as he could while driving. "Not much came out of it if I remember correctly. However, I wouldn't doubt it if he still had feelings for her or something."

Laura sunk down into the seat. "I see. How unfortunate."

Gideon gave her quick glance. "I wouldn't get discouraged. You're a smart girl. He'll notice eventually. He's just a bit... slow when it comes to social cues."

She nodded solemnly. "So I've heard."

Just as she had at the police station, she floated through the crime scene like a ghost, trying to push her newfound knowledge of JJ and Reid and the fact that she was in the woods out of her mind. Sure, she grew up surrounded by nothing but miles of forest, but she hated every second of it. The woods held too much of the unknown, too much of the uncontrollable. She was so engrossed in thought that she hardly noticed that Derek had accosted the journalist from before. She simply noticed him make his way back to the car with another dozen officers and she followed, seemingly operating on auto-pilot.

***

As one can imagine, Laura wasn't much help with the case until she could push the thoughts out of her mind. Luckily for her, she hadn't had to deal with anything extreme that would have made her obsession unsafe. Apparently one of the unsubs had come into the building armed and with a security guard as a hostage. Laura missed the whole thing, having taken a trip to the restroom just moments before. Unfortunately for the team, she didn't do anything about her racing thoughts until the case had already ended. Feeling particularly bold, she walked straight up to Reid as they were exiting the police station. "Do you like JJ?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I-I don't see how it's relevant, but of course, I like JJ. She's my coworker. It would be pretty terrible if I hated the people at my job." He pushed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose and then clutched the strap of his satchel.

"That's not what I meant." She paused, taking a moment to rephrase. "Do you think she's attractive? Like if she were to ask you out would you say yes?" She didn't make eye contact, staring at the floor and twiddling her fingers.

"Sure, she's attractive" _Please tell me that there is more to this sentence_. "I'm not a big relationship expert, but I'm pretty sure we missed our shot. Plus, statistically speaking, she has to have moved on at this point."

"But still , would you date her if she offered?"

He sighed. "No, I've gotten over it ." He continued walking as if nothing had happened before pausing abruptly. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. I heard some rumors circulating." She avoided eye-contact, not wanting him to read her micro expressions which were practically screaming **I LOVE YOU**. "Would you maybe want to get a coffee sometime or play chess?"

His eyes widened at the proposition.

"AS FRIENDS. Completely platonic." She screamed out as if it wasn't already glaringly obvious that she would date him at the drop of a hat.

"How about both? Chess and coffee at my place? Saturday?" He smiled at her.

She practically melted, hardly choking out through the excitement, "It's a date..." She took a pause, fully registering what she had said "FRIEND DATE."

He just chuckled, repeating what she had said quietly. "Friend date."

_This is going to be one hell of a journey. Sooner or later, you'll love me... or I least I hope you will._

***

As she made her way back to her unfamiliar home base, she had remembered her promise to Emily. "OH SHIT. I didn't even talk to Hotch about it. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." She sprinted to his office, only to find Emily seated on his couch. "Sir, Emily Prentiss is an upstanding-"

"Laur, chill." Emily chuckled.

"Oh my god. What happened? Please tell that it went well because if you aren't-"

"Laur, CHILL!" Laura promptly stopped speaking, awaiting Emily's next words. "I didn't even need you to say anything. I impressed him all on my own. I got the job!"

Laura wrapped her in a giant hug. "THANK GOD! I completely forgot and I thought that I had just totally screwed you over."

"Of course not. Now, I hear there's some red wine calling our names back at the house. What do you say we pop it open and you tell me all about your first day at the BAU?" She prepositioned, elbowing Laura in the stomach.

"You're in for a wild ride." She smiled, slightly chuckling.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is so long AH. I've never done anything like this before. I apologize for skipping through the case so quickly at the end. I was getting tired of the case talk. If it's too abrupt for anyone, I will gladly go back and rewrite it. I just wanted to get this finished and have more of a focus on Laura and Reid's relationship.
> 
> (I mean, I kinda overused time-skips in the whole chapter, but I guess this is what I get for writing such a long chapter)
> 
> CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE HALLWAY SCENE PLEASE AHDKFJSLKFJSDOLIJ. If Spence in my DR doesn't do that, I don't want him.
> 
> Also Laura and Spencer's romantic chemistry rlly said 📈📉📈📉📈📉 But that's going to be a recurring theme.
> 
> Also Laura and Hotch really have beef and for what? I don't even know how I accidentally made that a thing.
> 
> Should I have published this at almost midnight? Probably not. I didn't proofread, so please excuse any errors.
> 
> Before I sign off, I have to give my usual warning that I'm extremely inconsistent. I just have a lot of schoolwork (and mental illness- 😳) mk 😔🤚
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


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